Being In Your 70's Has Some Real Advantages

Who knew turning 73 could feel like stepping into your prime? This isn’t slowing down—it’s leveling up. With a body that still hikes, dances, and lifts with ease, life’s little quirks just add flavor. Sure, sometimes the remote ends up in the freezer, but that’s part of the fun. Being in your seventies means rewriting the narrative: embracing vitality, defying expectations, and savoring every moment with confidence, laughter, and a touch of well-earned wisdom. It’s not about orthopedic swagger—it’s athletic grace with a wink. At 73, the world is still a playground, and this old guy is diggin' it. 

So here it is: glorious perks that come with embracing this golden age—with a wink, a nap schedule, and zero shame.

Weekends Are a Social Construct
Tuesday feels like Saturday if I make pancakes. The only thing that marks “Monday” anymore is it's the day before garbage pickup day.

I’m Always the Youngest at the Senior Discount Counter
Nothing boosts your ego like being called “youngster” by someone with WWII stories and sharper eyesight than mine.

No One Asks Me to Help Move Furniture Anymore
Lifting? Perish the thought. I'm now the official supervisor of effort—armed with opinions, snacks, and a suspiciously ergonomic folding chair.

I Can Mismatch Socks with Confidence
Yesterday’s outfit featured a flamingo sock and a polka-dot sock. Together, they told the story of a bird attending a disco.

People Call Me “Wise” When I Give Unsolicited Advice
“Don’t trust a soup without salt” and “Always keep a spare cookie in your purse”—once considered eccentric, now revered as life philosophy.

I Can Nap During a Party and It’s Socially Acceptable
Some people network. I nap. My social power move is drifting off mid-toast and waking just in time for dessert.

I Get Away with Saying Outrageous Things
When I told someone they looked like a stressed-out emoji, they laughed. Or cried. Either way, no one dared to correct me.

I Know the Best Bathroom in Every Store Within a 10-Mile Radius
Target, aisle 7—trust me. I’m basically Yelp for bladders.

I’ve Earned the Right to Complain Artistically
I don’t moan—I compose. “Ah, my elbow… a tragic symphony in three groans.” I may release an audiobook of my aches.

I Turn Down the TV Volume and Actually Enjoy the Silence
The soundtrack of my life now features birds, distant sprinklers, and the mysterious creaking of a shelf I haven’t touched since 1992.

I Can Pretend Not to Hear Things I Don’t Want to Respond To
Selective hearing? I prefer “auditory boundaries.” Especially effective when someone says “group hike.”

I’m the Master of Celebrating Random Things
I once threw a party because my lettuce lasted five days. It had a cake, a theme song, and yes—lettuce-shaped confetti.

I Dance Like No One’s Watching (Because They’re All Distracted by Their Phones)
My signature moves include the “Sock Slide Shuffle” and “Remote Retrieval Twist.” TikTok could never.

I Can Tell Kids About Dial-Up and Feel Like a Time Traveler
“Once upon a time, we waited 10 minutes to send an email. And the internet made sounds. Actual sounds.”

I Don’t Care if You Judge My Cart at the Grocery Store
Lavender lotion, frozen waffles, and four kinds of olives. It’s either dinner or a very elegant panic attack.

I’m Allowed to Bring My Own Cushions to Social Events
I don’t attend a picnic—I curate a sitting experience. Bonus if my cushion matches my snacks.

No One Questions My Blanket Collection
I have a blanket for naps, one for deep reflection, and a ceremonial one for when I binge-watch baking shows. All sacred.

I Can Sing Off-Key Without Shame
I may miss every note, but I hit every emotion. Also, my dog has learned to leave the room quietly.

I’m a Living Archive of TV Catchphrases
I speak fluent sitcom: “Whatchu talkin’ ‘bout?” is my go-to response for emails and soup flavor suggestions.

I Laugh More Often—and Louder
Because laughter now feels like cardio, therapy, and social rebellion all rolled into one. Plus, it startles the pigeons on my porch.

So here I am, loving the seventies like a vintage sweater with surprisingly excellent pockets. Every twinge is a plot twist. Every nap is an adventure. And every oddball moment is proof that age doesn’t dampen your sparkle—it just gives you better punchlines.